4 Unconscious Signals You're Sending Out About Your Capacity For Love

All matter is made up of energy, including human beings, and we send signals out into the world via our energy. We can categorize these signals by their frequency—that is, the rate at which your energy vibrates. To help visualize this, consider how the radio or TV stations work. (I know, I know, most people use apps like Spotify and Netflix nowadays—but stay with me.) Each radio and TV station has a different frequency, which is what enables you to tune into what you want. When you want to tune into a TV station, you turn to a particular channel, which has a particular frequency.

When you break it down, this makes sense intuitively: People who are generally happy and peaceful (high-frequency people) are not attracted to people who are often anxious or depressed (low-frequency people). Likewise, low-frequency people might feel intimidated or threatened by high-frequency people. The law of attraction states that like attracts like, so in relationships, this means that like frequency attracts like frequency.

How are you abandoning yourself? Do you identify with any of these four behaviors?

However, now as adults, ignoring your feelings is a form of self-rejection, just like if you ignore a child's feelings, the child will immediately feel alone and rejected. You might want to think of your feelings as your inner child. Your inner child becomes anxious, depressed, or angry when you ignore them, and this self-rejection will lower your frequency.

Over the years, most of us have absorbed many judgments about ourselves, like not being good enough or worthy enough to be loved. Now, you might be pointing these judgments at yourself on your own, which is a major form of self-abandonment. Judging yourself makes you feel anxious, depressed, guilty, ashamed, alone, or empty—all of which will slow your energy's movement.

What did you see your parents or other caregivers do to avoid their feelings? Did they turn to substances, like food, alcohol, or drugs? Did they turn to activities, like TV, work, or sex? Did they try to manipulate each other or you with anger, blaming, or people-pleasing? What addictions do you turn to numb out and ice your feelings? Turning to addiction is another way of abandoning yourself.

Did you grow up believing that others are responsible for how you feel about yourself and whether or not you feel safe? Is this the role-modeling you had as you were growing up? Seeking love or approval from others—rather than learning to love yourself so you can share your love with others—is a form of self-abandonment.

To attract a loving and available partner, you need to become the kind of person you want to attract. When your energy frequency is low—no matter what is causing it—you'll attract other people whose frequency is also low in some ways. But likewise, the more you can inject your life with positivity—the kind that'll make your energy vibrate with joy—the more you'll also attract people whose energy is moving just like yours is. Together, you can create a cycle of good vibrations.